The Top 10 Reasons to Think Twice Before Having Kids

Debating adding a rugrat or two to your family?  Before you get started on that, here are the top 10 reasons to think twice before having kids!

before having kids

Top 10 Reasons to Think Twice Before Having Kids

#10.  You’ll probably never get an uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep again…ever!  If it’s not because the kids are physically keeping you up, it’s because they’re mentally keeping you up!

#9.  Alone time in the bathroom is a thing of the past.  Hope you don’t suffer from stage fright!

#8.  Instead of humming one of the current Top 40, you’ll find yourself singing The Itsy Bitsy Spider and Row, Row, Row Your Boat even when the house is quiet and you are alone.

#7.  You will be called out on all silent…um…gas passages…poots…farts.  You might as well get used to the vile words because once your kids learn them, they will become routine in daily conversations.  No matter how stealthily you try to slip them out, your child will ask loudly, “What’s that stinky smell!?!?”  And if you’re in a public place, they will be sure to yell this phrase repeatedly, especially if you attempt to ignore them.

#6.  Talking on the phone???  Seriously?  You’ll be lucky if you even hear it ring!

#5.  Anytime you head to the bathroom, you will probably have to answer the question, “Are you going to poop or just pee?”…even if company is present.

#4.  You do not think Lego blocks are good for foot massages.

#3.  You enjoy long, hot showers….or even just showers in general.  Personal hygiene will be low on the totem pole.

#2.  You value personal space.  What?  You mean you don’t enjoy having a small child sleeping thisclose to you at 2am on a night the a/c is broken and your bedroom feels like it’s a steamy 110 degrees?

…..Drumroll please!!!

And the #1 reason to think twice before having kids…..

#1.  You say things about your mother-in-law you do not want repeated. 😉

***************

Update 8/11/12:
Thanks to our unexpected experience last night, I’d like to add an alternate #1 to the list….
…..Drumroll please!!!

And the alternate #1 reason to think twice before having kids…..

Alternate #1.  Your idea of a date is not a soda and a sandwich box served up by a nurse in an emergency room on a Friday night while you watch Nick Jr. cartoons at 2am, and wait for someone to figure out how they are going to get a quarter out of your child’s esophagus.  Yep, true story.

I hope you enjoyed this post as much as I enjoyed writing it.  Of course, all of this is written in jest and the goal was to bring a smile to your face.  I love my kiddos more than anything (and my mother-in-law, too!!!  She’s actually pretty awesome)…but with that said, there is definitely some truth to this top 10.  Kids can definitely get the best of you some days.  The idea for the post came to me on a day full of frustrations.  I am so thankful that on most days I am able to look back and laugh.  I hope you can, too! 🙂  


Want more laughs? Be sure to check out my Top 10 Reasons to Have Kids!

Reasons to Have Kids

 

What would have been your #1 reason to think twice before having kids???


This post may contain affiliate links.

Genny Upton

A former teacher turned stay at home mom to two preschool aged children. Creator (and writer) at In Lieu of Preschool and Parent Teach Play. Currently publishing my first children's picture book!

  • I think sleep is my number one at the moment 🙂

  • Anonymous says:

    One of the hardest concepts for me to grasp was that I was no longer the most important person in my own life. That’s a tough adjustment!

  • Mama Pea Pod says:

    Haha, thanks for the laugh. Some days we need it more than others!

  • MamaMunky says:

    LoL, hilarious, and all true.

  • Heather says:

    OMG! I’m laughing so hard I’m crying!

  • Anonymous says:

    My #1. It will be years before you can finish an entire coffee without uttering the phrase ‘No, no, don’t touch, hot,hot!” I just want to enjoy my coffee in the morning without little fingers trying to drop lego or cheerios in it!

  • Love it!!!
    They are alll true at our house right now with my 2-year-old! She yells out “farty, farty” if she even THINKS she heard a fart! lool and as for coffee-drinking? I gave up on trying to enjoy that with her awake. I take it late in the afternoon now while she is napping 🙂

  • Sanisi says:

    My #1 is your #10: I really miss waking up when I’m fully rested.
    I’ve got a 6 week old and 22 month old and I’m being reminded how hard it is to eat a meal without interruption.

  • Alison says:

    This cracked me up! Just an hour ago, my daughter asked me “do you need help wiping, mommy, because I can help you with that!” Perfect timing for this blog!

  • KimBLOGicek says:

    I like your alternate #1…. that happened to my brother… swallowed a quarter when he was 6 and he had to have it surgically removed. Now he’s a dad to a daredevil like he was. Paybacks are AWESOME! 😀

  • Natalie says:

    Lol! I enjoyed this top 10 because it really is the truth! My #1 would be, if you enjoy having a conversation with someone and not interrupted every few seconds to the point where you forget what it was you were trying to say and just stare blankly at the person you were talking to. That’s the most common occurrence in my house these days. 🙂

  • mjm says:

    great post, thanks. I am driven crazy by my sweet angels daily, but I sure do love them.

  • Anonymous says:

    This list definitely made me laugh~ So true though. I have three year old twins and am a stay home Momma….so they keep me going all day everyday! I don’t remember the last time I sept through the night or ate my dinner while it was still warm, and yes, I also get bathroom visitors. I love them more than anything though…..they are my World!!

  • Anonymous says:

    uuummm….when mom and dad could BEEEE together without having to plan it on the calendar after the children are asleep lol

  • >